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Author: Subject: Unintentional bad parenting...
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question.gif posted on 11/22/2009 at 11:52 PM
Unintentional bad parenting...

Hello everyone,

got this via another board...

Do some men treat their child (ren) differently based on how they feel or felt about their child (ren) mother?

Do some women treat thier child(ren) differently based on how they feel or felt about the father?

Do some Guardians/godparents/step-parents who take on parental roles treat the godchild/ biological/step child(ren) differently than their own kids?

I know it sounds illogical but this type of behavior does exist but WHY??

Share your feelings...

Just Me,
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[*] posted on 11/23/2009 at 05:16 PM

i think that sometimes it is intentional and sometimes it is just subconscious unintentioanal behavior. i mean if i were to marry a man that had a child already, and i got pregnant and had a baby, it wouldnt be easy to be impartial.

i have seen some steps that loved their stepchildren like their own and more...and i have seen the opposite where they seemed to be emotionally distant from their child...depends on the situation...there could be hundreds of issues that arise, the child could be angry at the step, the natural parent of the child could be showing favorites which causes a step to back off, the parent could stop the step from diciplining and etc. and cause some conflict there....anything could be the issue....

for a woman bonding begins in the womb, and then continues as she nurses, and instinctivly, biologically a bond is formed that is never going to be easily broken, (at least in good mother that happens) so I think that it is harder to love other children but not impossible...i mean there are hundreds of adopted children out there...there are hundreds of children that are steps...and there is nothing wrong with that at all...i would adopt besides having my own and do everything possible to love those children.

children are beautiful loving them is easy...

for natural parents...well there can be tons of unintentional bad parenting stuff...like how bout parents who say...you were unexpected...blah blah and remind their children ooops you was a mistake that is psychological...gives feelings of unworthiness...

some parents were raised wrong and don't know how to do better...and so they repeat patterns of behavior...

some people are full of revenge and pride and they are abusive...depends on the people....

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[*] posted on 11/25/2009 at 12:05 AM

I have witnessed this type of behavior .
..I feel that it is unfair to the innocent child...they had no say so regarding the events that have taken place.
however, I treat my dauthter's bio brother and future step children as if they are my own.
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